Detroit's child is full of woe.

The absolute worse possible outcome for the Detroit Pistons came true Tuesday night.

Make no mistake, anything less than the first overall pick would have been a disappointment. But nothing could be worse than falling to fifth overall. It was the lowest the Pistons could pick.

Ben Wallace's face says it all.

Only to make it sting just a bit worse, another team with the same odds to land the top pick got it. The San Antonio Spurs will select Victor Wembanyama in a matter of weeks.

Detroit sports fans know heartbreak, but this is ridiculous. Nonetheless, knowing such heartbreak, and being known for it all the same, leads to some hilarious internet reactions. They may not make any Pistons fans feel better, but a feeling of catharsis through masochist laughter is about all we can look forward to these days.

Unless you're this guy. He's got nothing to look forward to.

There are seemingly a thousand reasons to scream, cry and laugh at the absurdity of it all.

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If you're anything like me as a football-first fan, having the worst record in the league and not being awarded the top pick is mind-blowing. Sure, tanking is not a reasonable strategy in the NBA any longer, but genuinely bad teams are punished for it. It really only adds to the frustration of Pistons fans.

But oh yes, it does get worse. The Pistons defied history in the worst way.

If you really want to bathe in the pain and suffering of a full-fledged Detroit sports fan, just look at the state of each franchise. It's brutal out here.

Save us 2023 Detroit Lions, you're our only hope.

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